Tale of two Half-Sisters
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Time Travelers Pig AU! Two sisters from another mother...and another timeline, must now duke it out to ensure their existence, and the safety of their parents and the world!...while their confused and mortified parents are caught in the middle... Wendip and Dipifica! Gravity Falls x Infinity Train x multiple crossover! Inspired by Markmak. Chapter 4 now re-written!
1. Chapter 1

Tale of two half-sisters

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **AN: the person I'm using for Dipper and Wendy's daughter is Tulip; a character from a Cartoon Network show called 'Infinity Train'. I strongly recommend watching it! It's on youtube right now!**

…...

Mable whistled a merry tune as she skipped through her Gruncle Stan's Fairground. "Hey, Pacifica!" She shouts!

"Uh...hey." Said Pacifica awkwardly as she quickly ran the other direction. Mable looked at this confused. _Huh, she's been acting weird since that incident at Pioneer day...Oh, well!_ Thought Mable dismissively to herself.

She then kept skipping along...then she saw him...the cutest piggie in the world! It then gave out the cutest squeal!

"Mable! He called me Mable!" Asserted Mable as she ran toward the pig pen. "I'm going to name you waddles!"

 **NO!**

Suddenly, Mable found herself tackled and thrown away from the pig pen-

 **BOOM!**

Which then explodes...killing all the pigs...and Sprott...

"Waddles?" Whimpered a now teary eyed Mable. "Hey, are you alright?" Asked the person who tackled her. Mable turned to said person. "Wendy?" She asked confused. She rubs the tears from her eyes, and then sees that it wasn't her teenage friend. True the girl had the same height and red hair...but she was wearing glasses...and a leopard skin bikini?

"Wha- who are you!? Why'd my pig explode? What are you wearing!?"

The girl flustered... "Uh...right...those are all perfectly reasonable questions...and I- LOOK A DREAMBOAT!"

"WHERE!? Shouts Mable as she turns to spot the cutie.

 _Wow, Dad was right, back then Aunt Mable really couldn't stay serious to save her own life back then._ Thought Tulip Pines to herself as she ran away. She then pulls out a communicator.

"One-one? Yeah, it's me...The Styx have pretty much fracked the time line...so were going to plan B!"

...

"I don't know if it's a Panda or a duck...But I want it!" Shouted Wendy excitedly. Dipper nodded and happily volunteered to win it for her..only...there wasn't anyone manning the booth.

Dipper peered into it. "Hello? Anyone there?"

Tulip cursed; they were here already! She was still undoing her great Gruncle Stan's sabotage that prevented anyone from winning! She couldn't let them see her! She was breaking enough rules as it was!

Under the counter she tried to make her voice sound gruff; "Uh- (COUGH!) I'm here! Just- Just some technical difficulties! Won't- won't, take a moment!"

"Oh...Okay then...is there anything we can do to help?" Offered Wendy.

"NO! Er- I mean no...Union rules! Yeah, no one but me is allowed to be in here...might cost me my dental plan y'know?"

"Oh...okay then." Responded Wendy.

 _Shoot, their either going to get suspicious or get bored and leave soon! I need to hurry!_ Tulip re-doubled her efforts and quickly finished rigging it so that there was no way her father could miss.

"Okay- (cough) This- This might take awhile...why don't you go ahead and play?" Without getting out from under the counter she quickly reaches up and plops a ball in front of Dipper. "On the house!"

"Oh...okay, thank you." Thanked Dipper as he promptly threw the ball and knocked down all the bottles.

Both Dipper and Wendy cheered. "Hey! Good for you! You win!" Shouts Tulip as she quickly sprinkles a concentrated dose of pheromones onto a Panda-duck and slaps it onto the counter without getting up from under the counter.

Wendy squealed as Dipper handed her the stuffed animal. "Thank you Dipper that was awesome!" She leans over and gives him a peck on the check...she slowly breaks it off...and stares at him...she just can't help it...neither can...

 _Wow...did Dippers whole thing...just get hot?_ Thought a very flustered Wendy. _Dang...Wendy is now even more- Just dang! I feel...drunk just looking at her!_ Thought an equally flustered Dipper.

Tulip peeked over the counter. _Yes! The pheromones are doing their work! The time line is restored!_ She thought as both her parents leaned in to have their first kiss-

 **ZAP!**

A bolt of energy passed between the two potential lovers, forcing them to break off their kiss..as well destroying a good part of the booth.

Both Wendy and Dipper looked in shock at the person who'd shot at them. She was a teenage blonde, was wearing a Victorian/steampunk-ish frock coat, and wore a peculiar mechanized skull mask...and now had a gun pointed at Wendy's head.

"Corduroy, step away from my father." Stated Emily Pines flatly.

"What?" Stated both Dipper and Wendy flatly.

"No, you step away from my parents!" Shouts Tulip as she jumps out of the wreckage of the booth; sword and wizards staff now at the ready.

"WHAT!?" Shouted both Dipper and Wendy.

...

Nearby, Pacifica watched the drama...

 _That's the girl that saved me..._

...

Blendin also watched from nearby...terrified.

"Oh, boy!" He turns to his com-link. "CODE MARZIPAN GUYS! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"

...

And in a nearby closet...a tied up Robbie was annoyed.

"Will you please let me go?" "Nope." Stated the tiny spherical robot known as One-One.

…...  
TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: This story was inspired by the Deviantartist Markmak**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

Tale of two Half-Sisters ch. 2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 _"Hello, Gravity Falls!I'm Pacifica Northwest! And if you got the Pioneer day spirit, give me a holler!" Shouts Pacifica on the stage._

 _"I'LL DO MORE THEN HOLLER BITCH!" Pacifica turned just in time to see a crazed man jump out of the crowd and fire a crossbow at her-_

 _Time stood still as Pacifica's life flashed before her eyes..._

 ** _CRACK!_**

 ** _BANG!_**

 _Pacifica watched in amazement as a teenage blonde girl wearing a mechanical skull mask literally 'blinked' into existence in front of her, caught the bolt mere centimeters away from her face, and shot the guy dead._

 _The girl then 'blinked' away to the corpse, grabbed it and left...leaving a stunned crowd...and a now very amazed...but also damp(not that she'd ever admit it) Pacifica..._

...

Pacifica hadn't liked to talk about it(and her parents had done everything they could to sweep the whole incident away, like it never happened)...but for the first time in her life...she was grateful to someone...

And now apparently she was the teenage daughter of the pre-teen jerk who exposed her family's fraud!? How was that even possible!?

...

Tulip glared at the blonde. "Look, girl. I don't know who you think you are-

"What I am is someone trying to put history back on track!" Snapped Emily.

"What- No, I am! You totally just fracked over my parents first kiss!"

"Your parents?! That's my dad!"

"I think I know my own dad, thank you!"

Emily scoffed. "Yeah, like I'm really going to listen to girl wearing THAT." She points at her leopard skin bikini.

Tulip blushed, "This was stylish back where I came from!"

Emily laughed. "Oh, yeah. You must be the talk of the whore-house!"

"At least a whore house would take me! With curves like you, they'd probably mistake you for a guy!"

And with that Emily screamed and shoot her musket which Tulip blocked with a mage shield. This turned out to a distraction for Emily to 'blink' behind Tulip and try to slice her with her sword-

 **CLANG!**

Only for Tulip to be ready with a sword already protecting her back!

Wendy, Dipper and Pacifica watched the two teenage girls attempt to eviscerate each other...

"Can I just say I have no idea what's going on here right now?" Stated Wendy. "I think that sentiment is shared by everyone." Stated Dipper flatly.

Then a portal popped up and spit out Lolph and Dundgren. "Yeah, well brace yourself...it's only going to get more complicated from-"

"Hey guys! I got you that corn dog you asked for!" Shouts Blendin as he walks over. "Dang it man, you ruined the atmosphere!" Shouts Lolph annoyed...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

Tale of two Half-Sisters ch. 3

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 _Mable bangs her had against a telephone pole... "Waddles, Waddles, waddles..." Suddenly she's grabbed roughly from the pole and slapped across the face!_

 _Mable rubbed her cheek and was surprised to see an annoyed Dipper. "Dipper, ow! What was that for!?"_

 _Dipper shook his head. "You realize that putting aside my own admittedly less then selfless reasons...your basically asking me to hurt your HUMAN friend to save a PIG you've know for like what? A day? Is that the moral here? As long as a cute girl gets a cuter pig, it's OKAY to let your friend get hurt?!"_

 _Mable blanched. "Uhhh..."_

 _"And another thing! Suppose I do get you Waddles because you fell into depression? What then?"_

 _"Then...I get a cute pig?" Guessed Mable confused._

 _Dipper slapped his forehead annoyed. "Mable, we live in a town full of nightmarish supernatural creatures! All of them could gobble up Waddles and ask for seconds! But supposing he survives that...how will you get him home? The bus driver doesn't allow pets! How will you convince Mom and Dad? Pigs get HUGE Mable! Eventually, will have to get ride of him! And what will happen then? Will you fall into depression again, then? Is that just going to be your coping mechanism if life doesn't just bend over and give you what you want?!"_

 _Mable was dumbfounded. "I...I just wanted the cute pig." Said Mable flatly._

 _"And I want people to stop making fun of me, I want to stop being a proverbial 'buttmonkey' to the universe, I want to be the same age as the woman I love, I want Grunkle Stan to stop sending me to clean the outhouse by myself! But that's not going to happen anytime soon! But you don't see ME breaking down do you?"_

 _Mable had no idea what to say. "Uh..."_

...

 _"So glad to have you here my boy." Said Preston Northwest. Dipper scoffs as he raises up his shackled hands. "Like I had a choice."..._

...

"Why is it fizzling out between the two timelines!?" Demanded Time-baby. As the screen showing the timelines went to static "There's a lot of interference!" Explained a technician as he tried to get the monitor working again.

Time baby shook his head as he turned to Wendy, Dipper, Pacifica, Tulip, and Emily.

"Right...I'm sure your daughters can fill in the blanks later. Bottom line: Somehow, two different timelines have converged on this universe! One where you ended up with Wendy, the other with Pacifica."

"WHAT!?" Exclaimed Dipper in disbelief. Wendy he could see...but Paciifica!? The hated each other!

Pacifica wasn't too thrilled either. "Me end up with him!? As if! He's way beneath me!"

Emily looked at her in disbelief. "Wow...future 'you' was right...you really were a bitch before dad mellowed you out."

Pacifica looked at her furiously.

"Huh, your mom's a valley-forge girl stereotype and mine is a cool lumberjack tomboy...this is almost too easy." Retorted Tulip smugly.

Before Pacifica could retort- "Oh, it's on!" Snarled an angrily as she brought out her wristblades.

"ENOUGH!" Thundered Time-baby. "I don't know how this happened...but we need to stabilize the timeline!"

He activates a 'private room' to pop out of space. "First and foremost, we need to make sure these two get conceived. I've seen enough grandfather-paradoxes for one lifetime, thank you! So get cracking boy!" He shouts as he points at Dipper...who's gone bright red.

"Uh...I beg your pardon?" Asked an equally flustered Wendy, while a mortified Pacifica also gaped.

Time baby shrugged. "Things are too chaotic right now...if they don't get conceived soon...they might cease to exist altogether..."

Both time-displaced daughters paled, then rushed to their 'dad'.

"PLEASE HAVE SEX WITH MOM RIGHT NOW!" They both beg simultaneously.

Dipper promptly faints...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. Chapter 4: Rewrite!

**Tale of two Half-Sisters ch. 4**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

After Dipper is revived, Time Baby clarifies that the 'private room' is just a place where they can extract Dipper's DNA and use it to artificially impregnate both Wendy and Pacifica.

"Let me be very clear; I'm only agreeing to this because I owe you for...you know saving my life." Paciifca looks lost for a second before regaining her composure. "Far as I'm concerned this makes us even!" She states flatly.

Emily just shakes her head. _"Wow...Mom was right..I really will have to use THAT."_ Meanwhile, Pacifica has to try very hard to not notice the similarities between her and Emily...

 _"NO! Your not believing this! This is insane! This whole situation is insane!"_ She tried to rationalize...which was very hard to do when you were floating in a high-tech city suspended in time controlled by a time-titan infant.

While Pacifica was going through the 'process'. Tulip was getting reacquainted with her parents.

-So aunt Mable agreed to let Waddles go in exchange for Dad fessing up about what really happened to mom." Explained Tulip.

"How'd I take it?" Asked Wendy, still not quite being able to believe she was talking to her DAUGHTER.

"Well...you were briefly miffed that Mable would choose a pig over you, but you were willing to let bygones be bygones since she DID choose you. And you told dad that taking your melodrama seriously was dumb but sweet...and you gave him his first kiss...which you liked as well."

Both Wendy and Dipper blushed over this...

"Anyway, things started to pick up between you two after that...course you didn't 'officially' become a couple until after the first time you meet Bill-

"Bill? Who's Bill?" Asked Dipper confused. "I'll talk about him later, right now we have a bigger problem."

Tulip then explains how after the Summer was over an event called Weirdmagedon- although thwarted by them -would destroy the worlds electronics and bring magic back to the world...putting the world through great turmoil. Fortunately the combined efforts of Dipper and Wendy helped guide the world and put it back on track, defending People from the dinosaurs that Weirdmagedon had woken from their slumber, slaying the evil ocean, crushing the dark sorcerer Ludo, and putting the heel the great bear-people uprising

"Go Wendip!" Shouted Mable excitedly

Yes together dipper and Wendy traveled the world as roving adventurers, forming the greatest nomad magic guild the world had ever seen...together they brought peace...at least until the Styx showed up.

Tulip explained how the Styx were an underground insect-like species that mimicked the genetic material of humanity until they looked and acted just like them...while the reverse couldn't be more true. Using Darklight tech to turn people into mindless slaves/suicide bombers. They tried to overwhelm humanity with 'the phase', a period of time where all mature female Styx gave birth to thousands of highly-evolved warrior-class Styx called the Armagi...fortunately Dipper and Wendy were able to find their nests and blow most of them up before that could happen.

"You guys won the war...but some of the Styx survived, found a time machine and traveled back to the past to kill you guys...I was the only one to get through before time started to destabilize..."

Tulip break off...a look of concern clearly plastered on her face. She then tried to force a smile. "But that's alright! Now that you know...I know we can stop this!"

Before Dipper or Wendy could respond. Pacifica was done with her session and now it was Wendy's turn.

It's at this point that Emily joins the group. Dipper takes a deep breath, then turns to his 'daughter'. "Look...I don't mean any disrespect, regardless of what happens I'll look after you...but I just don't see 'this' -gestures between him and an annoyed Pacifica- Happening." He states bluntly.

"Especially not while Wendy is around!" Teases Mable, much to Dipper and Wendy's embarrassment.

Emily sighs. "Yeah...I know...it makes sense that the main point of divergence in my Universe was Dad killing Wendy..."

 **WAIT, WHAT!?**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Chapter 5

**Tale of two Half-Sisters ch. 5**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 _The two Wendy's fought each other tooth and nail, Dipper frantically looked between the two. Desperate for ANY kind of sign of who was real- Then he saw one of them wink at him- GAH!_

 _Screamed the Wendy he'd just axed as she leaked red HUMAN blood..._

 _"No..." Whimpered a horrified Dipper as the Shapeshifter laughed in triumph..._

 _..._

 _Pacifica laughed. "How dumb do you have to be to kill the woman you love, I mean-_

 _Dipper screamed as he punched out several of her teeth, it took the combined effort of Stan and Mable to keep him from beating her to death with a golf club..._

 _..._

 _"Sorry Mr. Pines...either he works off the assault charge from the Northwests by being her butler...or he goes to jail to life." Explains Blubs sadly as he arrests dipper and takes him away..._

 _..._

 _"Peel grapes for me servant!" mocks Pacifica as Dipper is forced to do just that..._

 _..._

 _But mom I like this dress! I- RING! Pacifica froze up under the bell...and did as she was told...while a horrified Dipper watches..._

 _..._

 _"Point to Macintosh! He wins!" While an excited boy is handed a 1st place trophy...a deathly pale Pacifica is handed a 2nd place trophy...the glares of her parents burn into the back of her skull..._

 _..._

 _"Hey, yes it's me. Were gonna have to cancel that photo-shot...something came up." Explained Preston over the phone as he left a violently beaten Pacifica on the floor..._

 _Pacifica sobbed as she tired to right herself...and then she saw Dipper. Pacifica glared. "Okay... go on...LAUGH! The big mean spoiled bitch got her just desserts! I know you want to do it! Just do it! What are you waiting-_

 _And then Dipper hugged her... "I'm sorry." He whispered to her..._

 _..._

 _"You stupid brat! You can't do this to us!" Shouted a miniaturized Preston and his wife inside a cigar box...right before Dipper tosses it into the bottomless pit..._

 _..._

 _Dipper takes Pacifica hand in hand to see Gravity Falls only therapist...Dr. Penguin..._

 _..._

 _What do you say Mcgucket? You build/patent your inventions, I help facilitate the manufacturing and marketing...we split it 50/50?" Asked Dipper._

 _"Throw in a bag of turnips and a sauna for my racoon wife and you got a deal!" Shouted Fiddleford._

 _..._

 _Dipper hold up the bell hesitantly. Pacifica whimpers...but nods. Dipper rings...Pacifica screams..._

 _..._

 _Dipper zapped the pile of garbage with the shrink stone and a loaf of bread with the growth stone. "And there you have it folks- world hunger and world garbage are both solved!" The investors applaud excitedly..._

 _..._

 _Dipper shouted encouragement as he rung the bell while Pacifica ran up to the top of the courthouse steps- "I'M QUEEN OF THE WORLD!" She shouted triumphantly..._

...

"Wow...That's messed up." Admitted Mable. "I...I had no idea things were that bad for Pacifica." Said Dipper thoughtfully.

He then turned to Pacifca who was passed out and twitching like mad. "Uh...will she be alright?" He asked with surprising concern.

Emily sighed. "Yeah...not proud of that. Uploading my future mom's memories is even less pleasant than it sounds...but I don't have time for dad to give her personality a full 180! Delilah is trying to kill her now!

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	6. Chapter 6

**Tale of two Half-Sisters ch. 6**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

And so Emily went on to explain how after weirdmagedon- "Are either of you ever going to explain what that is?" "Later!" -was averted...their was still after affects...nothing as dramatic as Emily's timeline...just a slight tweak in the molecular composition in the universe, rendering all forms of power- except steam -useless or impractical to power the world...oh, and a seemingly endless amount of floating inter-dimensional whales began to appear in the skies...

"Yeah, it took a couple of years before that change in molecular composition kicked in, but Dad, Mcgucket, and Ford- "WHO?" "LATER!" -saw it coming, so Dad slowly began to switch Northwest industries toward Steam-punk.

They also learned that the whales could be harvested- "DIPPER! HOW COULD YOU!? WHALES ARE OUR FRIENDS!" "Mable, I haven't even done this yet!" -for a WAY more potent and useful energy source, and immediately got to producing whale oil before anyone else... so when all the other companies were floundering, my family ended up on top!...well, for awhile anyway."

"What happened?" Asked Mable enthralled.

"Well, although magic isn't saturating everything like in Tulip's world...their was SOME magic spillage. Plus, thanks to Dad exposing the supernatural to the world, their was still a lot of buzz...and soon secret societies began to crop up...

why, humanity sees the need to do that, I don't know, so don't ask...

anyway, they were mostly harmless charlatans that didn't know a wand from a spoon...their was one group...that was a problem; The Brigmore Witches...more importantly their leader Delilah Copperspoon.

Her powers as a witch were so great that she somehow nearly rewrote the fabric of reality to conform to her painting. Thankfully, Dad and Mom managed to pervert her final ritual and trap her in a painting-

"Go Dipifica!" Shouted Mable.

"Uh...okay, thanks...unfortunately, some of her followers survived the raid and spirited away the painting before my parents could do anything else with it...and then they beat up Ford- "let me guess, you'll explain who that is, later?" "Look, this takes priority!" -and stole his time-tape and get to this time-period.

I was the only one nearby when it happened, so I was the only one to grab Blendin's spare, Mom cast a spell to send me a download of her memories- don't ask me why she had that handy, mom could be weird sometimes- and use it before...before my home started to implode through paradoxes...

She began to tear up...Dipper put a hand on her shoulder to comfort on her...

"Wow, both futures have Dipper and everyone sounding badass!" Shouted Mable, the undertones of panic and despair going completely over her head...

Conveniently, enough that was when Wendy had finished with the 'process'.

Time Baby turned to them. "Their is no easy way to say this...but although impregnating both your mothers prevented a time-break...I was forced to delete both your time-lines...I'm sorry. If there'd been another way...but it was literally either that or allow time to shatter..."

Both Tulip and Emily broke down in sobs...their 'parents' were quick to comfort them.

Dipper looked up to the time-titan. "What of, Delilah and the Styx?"

Time-baby sighed, "Again, I must apologize...but in order to properly delete those time-lines I had to register ALL people who had come to the past as belonging to this time-period...which puts them out of our jurisdiction."

"So there's nothing you can do?" Asked Wendy in disbelief.

"We can arrest them if they time-travel again...but I can sense they've already smashed their time-machines to prevent us from finding them."

With that...he had them sent away...Wendy, Dipper and a still frazzled Pacifica helped Tulip and Emily toward Blendin as he takes them home.

"Well...best of luck guys." Said Blendin awkwardly. Then flustered as both future girls hugged him in thanks...

And with that...he was gone...it wouldn't be until that night that he realized they'd swiped BOTH of his spare Time-tapes...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	7. Chapter 7

**Tale of two Half-sisters ch. 7  
**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 _"Yeah, you know I'm kinda with Dipper on this, why do you keep piling all the chores on Dipper but never hardly give Mable any work?" Asked Wendy accusingly._

 _Stan glared, "Before I answer that...refresh my memory on the last time YOU did any work here to justify my paying you?"_

 _Wendy paled...then turned to Dipper, "Sorry Dipper, I think your on your own here-_

 _"Yeah, I figured." Said Dipper in miserable resignation..._

 _..._

 _Dipper sighed, "I'm really tempted to turn around and leave Stan to his fate-_

 _"Dipper!" Gasped everyone -Relax! I'm not! As much as I hate Grunkle Stan right now...I'd hate leaving Gravity Falls... and Wendy more"_

 _"Awwwww." Gushed Mable while Wendy blushed. "Wow, thanks man...I-I don't know what to say..." she admitted awkwardly._

 _"Uh dudes, I hate to break this up but we still need to stop Bill!" Shouted Soos frantically._

 _..._

 _"Why weren't you a better daughter?! Your the reason I had to leave!" Screamed Mary Corduroy as she tried to strangle a sobbing Wendy..._

 _"Wendy!" Shouted Dipper as he tried to run to her- "Not so fast Pine tree! Now it's your nightmares time to shine!" Shouted Bill with a laugh as he shoots Dipper with his nightmare blast...only for nothing to happen!?_

 _"Wait, what!? What gives?!" Shouted Bill confused. Dipper smirked. "My greatest nightmare is already happening! Watching the woman I love suffer!"_

 _"wow...our nightmares seem kinda lame now in comparison." Admitted a grossly deformed Mable. "Agreed." Stated Soos as he punched out the British dog..._

 _..._

 _"Look Dipper...some messed up things happened back there...I don't know what that 'great darkness' that monster was rambling about..but I know this...I'm gonna live life to it's fullest from now on...hang the consequences!"_

 _Dipper looked at her confused, "Uh, Wendy what do you- Wendy interrupted him with a kiss._

 _Mable and Soos squealed, Stan just looks baffled. "How...how long was I asleep?" He asked confused._

 ** _BOOM!_**

 _Gideon laughed, as he swaggered into the room. "HA! The deed is mine! The Shack is mine! Victory is-_

 ** _POW!_**

 _Without breaking her kiss, or opening her eye's...Wendy knocked out Gideon with a single punch...the deed and his journal went flying..._

 _"My girlfriend ladies and Gentleman." Thought a deliriously happy Dipper as he continued to make out with the fiery red-head..._

 _"Seriously, what the FRACK!?" Shouted a REALLY confused Stan..._

 _..._

"Ahhhhh...that's adorable!" Shouts Mable as she and the rest of the Mystery Shack gang watched Tulip cast a spell to show everyone her parents memories...or rather...her ALTERNATE parents memories...

"I stand by what I apparently said a few seconds ago...what the FRACK!?" Shouts a bewildered Stan as he gestures wildly at the whole situation.

Wendy and Dipper just looked at each other...neither knew what to say or think about ANY of this...they were with Stan...'what the FRACK' really summed it all up nicely...

Soos wiped a tear from his eyes...then looked around, "Wait- where'd Emily and Pacifica go?" He asked confused.

Mable shrugged, "They said they'd join us latter...apparently they needed to take care of something..."

...

Preston Northwest smirked before the gaping crowd, "It is with great pride that I open the Northwest orphanage!" Everyone cheered as he cut the ribbon. Preston chuckled to himself.

 _"They're like trained seals...throw them a fish and they'll clap. This orphanage was the cheapest I could buy..and those orphans will more then make up the pennies I put into it's construction with that sweat-shop I installed...oh, Preston how can you stand to be such a genius!?"_ He crowed to himself...right before both he and his wife were turned to ash...

While everyone was screaming...a satisfied Emily left the scene with Pacifica, happy that her 'shadow kill' mixed with her 'bend time' ability would make sure that everyone thought her 'grandparents' deaths were freak accidents...allowing her mother to inherit everything.

...

"Huh, speaking of 'taking care of something'...why do i feel like I'm forgetting something?" Asked Tulip out-loud...

...

"Hello?! Anyone!? I'm still down here!" Shouted a STILL tied up Robbie. Sad-one sighed, "Your gonna die here, aren't you?" "YEAH! Were gonna die together!" Shouted Happy-one excited.

...

"Eh, whatever. I'll deal with it tomorrow." Said Tulip dismissively... "That's my girl." Complimented Wendy happily...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	8. Chapter 8

**Tale of two half-sisters ch. 8**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Robbie groaned...it had taken getting attacked by a swarm of rats...but he'd finally been able to break free of his bounds after they chewed through them...also his clothes...and his vital organs...

"I don't know how...but that stupid brat Dipper was behind this!" He snarls enraged as he uses the few scraps of clothes he has to cover his shame...and prevent massive blood loss on 17 separate points of his body...

"Well...Master Dipper was KINDA involved..." Thought Happy-One out loud.

"I KNEW IT! Oh, that jerk is Sooooooo DEAD!" Shouted Robbie as he ran through the forest...

"...do you think I should've clarified that he was only indirectly responsible and actually had no idea what had happened to him?" Asked Happy-One thoughtfully.

"Eh, who cares? Judging by the chicken egg sized swollen lymph nodes on his genitals, he doesn't have long to live anyway." Said a depressed Sad-One.

"YEAH! DYING!" Cheered Happy-One obliviously.

...

Robbie panted...and then groaned. He was so busy being angry- and suffering from anemia -that he'd gone in the wrong direction altogether! He'd somehow ended up by the arcade!

Robbie sighed..."Might as well play a couple games while I'm here." He said depressed as he walks inside-

...

"WINNERS DON'T LOSE!" Shouted Rumble Mcskirmish. "Dang straight they don't lose! I'm gonna hurt that runt and win Wendy over if it's the last thing I do!" Shouted Robbie. He tries to put in another quarter...only to drop it. He goes behind the machine to pick it up...then sees some weird writing scribbled on the side of the machine

 **FOR ULTIMATE POWER: (button combo displayed)**

Robbie looked at this and shrugged, "Well...I do like things that are ultimate." He then follows the instructions-

 **GLOW!**

Robbie was almost blinded by the intense glow from the game- "SELECT CHARACTER!" Shouted the game. "Uh...Rumble Mcskirmish?" Said Robbie confused.

And just like that...he was their...Rumble Mcskirmish. "TIME TO FIGHT!" He shouted.

Robbie just blinked. "WOW...those rats must've bit me harder then I thought..."

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	9. Chapter 9

**Tale of two half-sisters ch. 9  
**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

"Sooo...you got emancipated and the fortune is all yours?" "Yep...how is...the Shack?" "Oh, you know...it's all good..."cough"...hey Wendy...how's...chopping...is that going well?" "Oh you know...all the trees...that needed to be chopped...got chopped...when we needed to chop them." "Huh, you don't say...how is-

"GAH!" The three turned around as an aggravated Grunkle Stan threw down his paper in frustration. "I can't do this anymore! Your tip-toeing around the issue was funny the first 5 minutes...but THREE HOURS?! Now it's just annoying!"

Mable nods, "Yeah guys...you got married and had kids in the future...who are now living with you...not to mention the two other children that are on the way! You gotta talk about that!"

Dipper, Wendy, and Pacifica groaned. "How Mable? How are we supposed to talk about this? Where do we even begin unraveling the massive cluster-fu-

 **GAH! SOMEBODY HELP ME!**

Everyone looked outside to the source of the girlish scream...and see a nearly naked Robbie running from a videogame character-

 **BOOM!**

Strike that, a FULLY naked Robbie running from a videogame character...despite the situation...the girls can't help but laugh at his wiener. "What happened? You only find enough youth potion to turn your junk back to one year old?" Mocks Tulip. "I've seen roadkill with more sex appeal then that!" Agreed Emily gleefully.

They both gave each other a congratulatory high-five while their mom's gave 'Oooh! Burn' to each of their snaps...then they remembered they hate each other and quickly looked away from each other annoyed...

A flustered Dipper who was currently covering his crotch, coughs nervously. "Uh, I know Robbie isn't my favorite person...but we should probably save him."

They all nod and spring into action; while Emily and Tulip fight off Rumble, Dipper, Mable, Wendy and Pacifica try to whisk Robbie to safety. "Robbie what happened? Where'd that thing come from? And why dose it want to kill you?"

Robbie flustered trying to keep his wang concealed from the cute girls all around him, "Uh...beats me. He just popped up out of nowhere and started going nuts-

"WHAT!? THAT IS A LIE! THIS VILLAIN SUMMONED ME AND TRIED TO LEAD ME DOWN THE PATH OF EVIL! TRIED TO CONVINCE ME THAT BOY IN SHORTS KILLED HIS FATHER, BUT I SMARTER! NO HERO WOULD BE AS ANNOYING, INCOMPETENT, UGLY, SMELLY AND FLACI-

"Oh, come on! What is this, 'Let's all gang up on Robbie' day?!" Shouted Robbie annoyed.

"You were trying to kill Dipper/dad!?" Shouted the girls. Robbie glared, "Oh don't even! Your precious Dipper tied me up and locked me in a room full of plague rats!"

"Oh, right! Untie Robbie! That was what I forgot! Sorry, that was my bad!...your still a jerk for wanting to have my dad killed though!" Shouted Tulip.

Robbie whirled around to give her a piece of her mind...and stopped...it was like looking at a hotter version of Wendy...the glasses/leopard skin bikini giving her a 'wild-girl, naughty librarian ...thing' going on-

"DUDE! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY HAVING AN ERECTION AT THE SIGHT OF MY DAUGHTER!" Screamed an irate Dipper. "EWWWWW!" Shouts a disgusted Tulip, which nearly gets her blasted while distracted.

Robbie flusters as he remember he's currently on display for all to see...

Deciding enough was enough:

GREATER SHADOW ATTACK!

Shouts Emily, shadows ensnare and injure Rummble...but the damage is fleeting and negligible...although it dose hold him in place for awhile...

"HA! ALL FLASH NO SUBSTANCE!" Mocked Tulip as she releases her attack-

FORBIDDEN SUN!

And thus a mighty globe of fire was released from her staff...very slowly...

Rummble just calmly sidsteps it with no problem.

"HA! AT LEAST MY ATTACK HIT HIM!" Teased Emily.

Dipper groans, "ENOUGH! WORK TOGETHER OR BOTH OF YOU ARE GROUNDED!"

"But dad!"

"NO BUTS! NOW USE YOUR ATTACKS IN CONJUNCTION!"

Both girls groaned..but did as he said.

Emily used her Greater Shadow to hold Rummble in place long enough for Tulips Forbidden Sun to destroy him...

And now for Robbie...on the one hand he'd been plotting to kill Dipper..on the other hand...Tulip DID lock him up and get him infected with the bubonic plague...

So they compromised...Emily used a Bonecharm to free him of the plague...but Tulip cast a spell to burn away any clothes he tried to put on and he was made to work in the Shack naked for the next week.

"COME ONE! COME ALL SEE THE GOTH WITH THE FREAKISHLY SMALL DINGUS!" Shouted Stan as he took money from a record breaking crowd.

Robbie sighed... _"Oh, well...one silver lining at least."_ He smirks as he spots Tulip due some calisthenics nearby...Which was a bad move because now the crowd was laughing at his tiny boner.

 **ROBBIE!**

And Wendy and Dipper were now going to castrate him...for the first time of many...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	10. Chapter 10

**Tale of two Half-sisters ch. 11**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Manly Dan sighed...contrary what you'd think...he wasn't a drinking man...but he was drinking everyone under the table tonight!

...

" _PAPA-YA!" Shouted the strangely clothed girl who hugged him suddenly, "Wait what!?" Exclaimed Manly Dan..._

 _..._

 _Manly Dan rubbed his temples, "So let me get this straight...your my granddaughter from the future...and in order to keep the timeline 'stable'...your now stuck here, Wendy's pregnant with ANOTHER child...and the same thing happened with ANOTHER girl...who has caused my future 'son-in-law'- who is two years YOUNGER then my daughter - to knock up yet ANOTHER girl...who ALSO has a daughter from the future here? Have I got all that right?_

 _Tulip sighed.."We don't really know what will happen when 'we're' born...but yes. That's it." She admitted awkwardly...she wasn't used to her her papa-ya(what she called her grandpa) to look at her with anything but love...  
_

 _Dan groaned, "I need a fracking drink." and with that he left before the girls could say anything..._

...

Dan took another drink...and smashed a nearby patron through a table...the ensuing brawl helped him with a lot of pent up anger...

...

Finally...he came home. "Dad!" Shouted Wendy who'd just gotten out of the shower and was wearing a towel "Papa-ya!" Shouted Tulip hopefully. Despite the situation...hearing that last one nearly brought a smile to Dan's face...he held up a hand. "Okay...she can stay...everything else...I'm going to have a 'chat' with the 'father' soon."

Wendy groaned, "Dad, don't kill him."

"That all depends on him sweetie- ANYWHO!" Shouts Dan quickly before Wendy could protest, "It's time we talk about making you feel more comfortable here...like what your wearing-

Tulip groaned, "Alright fine...I like this look, but I get how it's inappropriate for this time. Don't worry Wendy and i will go shopping-

"What? No! I meant I 'like what your wearing'!"

"Say what now?" Asked Wendy stunned. Manly Dan said nothing as he went inside the house-

 **FWOOM!**

Wendy paled, "Dad...why is the incinerator on!?" Panicked both girls ran just in time to see-

 **DAD NO!**

But it was too late...Dan had already thrown all her clothes into the incinerator, while she was stunned by this-

 **Yoink!**

 **HEY!**

Yelled a now naked Wendy as he tossed her towel into the fire

Dan just chuckled as he dug under his bed and dragged out an old shoebox, "They told me I was a dumb lunatic for trying to make this Fashion popular! We'll guess what numb-nuts! I was decades ahead of my time!" He dumps the contents on the floor.

"Time the Corduroys became Fancty-pants fashionistas!" He laughed like a mad man.

Wendy paled..."No."

Tulip smirked..."Yes!" She shouted triumphantly

...

Dipper flustered, "Wha- "Don't ask", Snapped an annoyed Wendy who know wore a leopard skin bikini.

"It REALLY looks good on you mom", Said Tulip sincerely. Dipper watched them as they entered the shack- which would now be doing record business -and once more punch Robbie in the nuts for getting an erection from looking at them.

Dipper shrugged and turned around...and ran right into the very very hairy six-pack of manly Dan...who was now naked save for a loincloth...which someohow made him look all the more savage and intimidating. Even more so when he grabbed Dipper by the head and lifted him up to his eyes

"Not so fast sunny-jim...I'm willing to accept all this for the sake of both my daughter and granddaughter...but you better believe I'm gonna make you work to earn your keep in this family!"

Dipper gulped.

...

A sweaty(well more then usual anyway) Dipper groaned as he tired to chop down a tree...with little luck. Dipper turned to manly Dan, "Can I at LEAST have a loincloth?" Said the poor, naked boy.

"Put enough meat on those noodle-arms so your chopping more then one tree an hour and maybe will talk!" Shouted Manly Dan, "or at least grow another inch down there! Sweet sarsaparilla boy, I've meet eunuchs with bigger weenies then you!"

Dipper felt his face redden as he covered himself mortified- "Overkill boy! You only need your pinkie finger to cover that!" Mocked dan, "By the way, I need you to go into town for something. I sold all your clothes and put the money toward Wendy and Tulip...so good luck with that!" Laughed Dan as he left a mortified dipper with nothing to cover his shame but his pine tree hat...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
